Better Than The Golden Rule

Let’s play a game with you and all your coworkers.
20 questions. How you each like to work and get work done. Morning or evenings?
Introvert or extrovert?
Coffee or tea or water?
Two screens or one?
More meetings or less?
In-office or no?

Now imagine everyone comparing answers. It’s very likely that no two people will have the same 20 answers. We all prefer working in different ways, at different times, with different methods, and priorities.

However, we still all have to work together.

One of the most important things we can do is one step better than the golden rule. Instead of “treating others the way that you want to be treated” it’s a concept called The Platinum Rule. But to treat others the way that they want to be treated.

The core of the idea is not to assume that everyone is like you, but that everyone is their own person, and ask about their preferences.

Working with others, we should know how they prefer to communicate, how they like receiving feedback and recognition, when their peak focus and energy time is, and how they deal with stress. These parts of ourselves are not knowable in just a single question or a 1-sentence answer. It takes time to observe, ask, and share these pieces about ourselves.

Listening is a foundation of working better as a team.

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Caveday is a company aimed at improving your relationship to work. We write regular posts on Medium and send out monthly newsletters with productivity tips, life hacks, and recommendations. Sign up for the mailing list here.

Jake Kahana is a cofounder of Caveday. Sign up for his personal emails, called “The Email Refrigerator” here.