When I have a difficult task in front of me, I want to procrastinate. I do easy things. I reach for my phone and refresh my newsfeed.

I go back to Facebook. I think this is a multi-part problem. One part is that I don’t want to do hard things. My brain wants to just keep pushing me where I’m comfortable and know what to do. That means I don’t want to figure out how to use my time more effectively.

Like, what is my big goal or something I want to accomplish? And what’s extra frustrating about that is so much of productivity advice just ignores this. They just say some version of “stop wasting your time on social media” or “put away your phone” or “block the internet” and assume that without distractions we all know what higher-level tasks and projects to do.

But the truth is we don’t.
We need some time and space to really define our purpose.
Our north star, “why”, thesis, key value proposition, or whatever other umbrella idea is guiding our work. 

Another piece is that there are literally billions of dollars at stake and invested in making you an addict. Not just to capture and hold your attention but to literally make you an addict to your phone or social media or the news.

The notification > dopamine spiral that is carefully designed and continues to learn you is working against our best interest. It’s shortening our attention span, making us less empathetic, simplifying our ability to focus, and insulating our beliefs in an echo-chamber while making us more sensitive to triggering content.  Not to mention limiting our ability to learn.

Part of the problem is that my focus is being pulled away from where I actually want it to go.

But instead of doing something about it, I just pass the time. Pass away my life scrolling and being ok doing this. Because  I’m being placated by a stream of average content that sort of inspires me and barely holds my attention and then teasing me with the potential of more excitement if I just keep scrolling.

And I don’t get mad at THEM when I keep doing this and it gets in the way of my work and my feelings. I get mad at MYSELF. Something is wrong with ME. Right? What crazy victim-blaming behavior, but we all do it. I mean, how could I get mad at Instagram?

So how can we pull focus back to where we actually want it?
How can we guide our focus to where it needs to be? 
We need help guiding your focus.

Focus can be understood as three lights.

The first is the lighthouse.
This is the light that helps guide your ship. It is on all the time but you may only pay attention to it when you feel like you’re going to crash. Or feel like you’re way off course. It guides you to answer the big questions like: What is your life’s focus? Or work’s focus? Your north star, your why. It’s hard, it’s not something that easily just comes. It could be a phrase or a mission statement. It could just be a passion around an industry or topic. (Note: I don’t know what this is for me or my own process to find it. And it can also be a short term thing like “this is my focus for the next 6 months” or “while my kids are still really small, I’m going to keep this mantra in mind.”)

The second is the stoplight.
These are the lights that tell you when to stop and go and slow down. They run on a weekly and monthly basis. These are the lights that help you prioritize time and tasks.

Do you have themed days, meeting days, deep work mornings? Do you blocking off time and choose tasks that are important vs urgent.? Do you put them in your calendar, make a to-do list and time block?

We can guide our focus by mapping out our time. And it’s worth saying here that we at Caveday already guide you on this level in annual reviews, monthly and weekly planning workshops.

The third level is the desk light.
This is an hour-to hour light that is just about getting the task at hand done. Short focus. Your NOW focus. It’s really your attention. Focusing without distraction on the task at hand. How can you keep the light on your task and not get caught up in Slack and phones and scrolling. And, of course, this is where Caveday started.

If you’re interested in learning to focus, you’re in the right place. Our Caves are designed to help you shine a (desk) light on your most important work. Our weekly and monthly planning workshops are intended to show you the stoplight. And our quarterly and annual planning workshops are designed to help you find your lighthouse light.

Join us this December for our annual gathering to review the year and plan our coming year (or members can watch on-demand).

Caveday is a company aimed at improving your relationship to work. We write regular posts on Medium and send out monthly newsletters with productivity tips, life hacks, and recommendations. Sign up for the mailing list here.

Jake Kahana is a cofounder of Caveday. Sign up for his personal emails, called “The Email Refrigerator” here.