3 Takeaways from Nick Gray
In this month’s Deep Dive series, we were joined by Nick Gray, founder of Museum Hack and author of The 2-Hour Cocktail party. We spoke about how hosting gatherings not only helps make new friends but can also improve your well being.
Here are three quick things that stood out from our conversation.
1) We’re still in a loneliness epidemic. Host a party to feel less lonely
Our culture has experienced a seismic shift in the past three years. Prior to 2020, we were already seeing alarming statistics on loneliness and these numbers continue to grow. It’s a no-brainer that hosting a party would likely help you as the host feel less lonely. You’ve created the invite list, opened your home, and been seen as the connector. But Nick helped us understand how a party has a ripple effect. If you throw a successful party (find out what makes a successful party in Nick’s Book), each guest is walking away with a handful of new connections that will likely lead to more social gatherings amongst the group. Host a party, help friends make new friends, feel less lonely. 🙂
2) Adding minimal structure to a party adds more value than you might expect
So what if you don’t like hosting? Or you don’t think you have the space? Or you’re shy?! According to Nick, anyone can host a party. That is, if you add a little structure.
Let’s take start and end times.
Ever been invited to a party at 7pm but there’s no end time? What time are you supposed to arrive? As the guest, this puts it on you have to navigate social norms, understand what kind of gathering it is, etc. No one wants to be the person that shows up right at 7pm. But! When you put a limit to a party, say two hours, there’s no longer the question of when to show up. You’ve been given cues on what to expect.
Ever seen an icebreaker used at a cocktail party?
Probably not, but next time you might want to include one. Icebreakers, when done properly, start conversations in a low stakes way that immediately create a welcoming tone for your party. They can also be used to help the flow of your guests. Think back to a time you were stuck in a conversation you couldn’t get out of. Now imagine if the host of that gathering had kicked off a little icebreaker mid party pulling you away from a situation you were struggling to end. What a relief.
3) Name tags to the rescue
Yes, the “Hello my name is_____” kind. We love to hate them. But if Nick taught us anything, it’s that name tags are your party’s super hero. I know I’m not alone in sharing that, while I have a remarkably good memory, hearing someone’s name for the first time is like in one ear, out the other. The name tag acts as a reinforcer and helps us avoid having to awkwardly ask our new acquaintance for their name they told us 3 minutes ago. 🙈
But more interestingly, Nick shared that name tags make gatherings more inclusive. There’s always that friend of a friend at a party who no one has met yet. Walking in to a group of strangers is inherently intimidating. The name tag acts as an equalizer and helps bring this new friend to the same level as the other guests. I hosted a party of ~30 last week. My parents were there and had only met a small handful of my friends. We joked about how name tags would’ve been enormously helpful for them to reference the stories they’d heard. Now looking back, I wish I would’ve had them! I’m all in for embracing the name tag (and you could even make them pretty if you absolutely hate the original conference version!)
As a bonus, here are a few more pro party tips from Nick…
Learn more about parties & how Nick stays focused in his work here: