You’ve planned your day perfectly: time boxed all your tasks, optimized the kind of work for your natural biochronology– the rhythms of your energy. You’ve slotted out times for breaks and meals. Your morning routine kicks off as your alarm wakes you up at the usual time. The rituals have begun to put you in the perfect mental state to begin work in an hour. But then something terrible happens.

An energy hijacker shows up.

Maybe it’s a call from a family member with bad news. Or your partner is not happy. Maybe your childcare just canceled or school is closed. You got some bad feedback about a piece of work or you see a social media post about a colleague who got the job you were secretly hoping for. Or maybe you’re just feeling sick from last night’s dinner suddenly. Or you just simply can’t motivate yourself after 2 years of being in lockdown and feeling trapped under the weight of your life.

What do you do when your perfectly planned work day goes to sh•t? How do you manage your energy then?

First of all, you’re normal. It’s ok. It happens to us all.
Second, your friends and colleagues and clients will forgive you and will likely understand what you’re going through.
Third, you have to deal with this. But how?

Well, we’re not here to prescribe the answer, because the emotional weight and situations are so different for everyone. But here’s a framework for thinking about this that might help.

1. Stop the bleeding
   As soon as the hijacker appears, see what you can do to triage. Stop the bleeding right away. Cancel your cancellable meetings, adjust your schedule. Push to-do list items back. Send short emails/slacks/texts to people you’d normally be communicating with to manage expectations of you today or however long you think you’ll be affected.
   Then, you have three ways of approaching these hijackers.

2. You can distance yourself.
   Find an activity that gives you some emotional distance and perspective from what is happening. Go for a walk. Meditate. Journal. Just take 3 minutes to stop and breathe and think about it. What will matter in a week, month, or year? What could be great about this?

3. Or, you can feel all the feels.
   Allow yourself to be sad or sick or angry. Go through it. Allow your brain and your body to experience it and don’t try to hide it or overcome it or push through. Lay in bed. Take a nap. Be upset. Cry it out. Do what you have to do. Sometimes the only way out is through.

4. Finally, you can feed yourself.
   Maybe literally, but more figuratively. Maybe today you need to play a nurturing and spoiling parent for yourself. Take yourself to a fancy coffee or nice lunch. Lay in the bath. Buy something for yourself. Indulge in a dessert or something that will make you (temporarily) feel better.
   

It’s easy to follow all the advice out there about energy management and planning your day perfectly to have the most productive and optimized work day.

But the reality remains that you are human.
You are a complex emotional creature that experiences a range of emotions and challenges outside of work that still affect your work life.

Maybe this process will help. Or just hearing that this is normal will help. We’re all struggling in one way or another. You’re not alone.

Caveday is a company aimed at improving your relationship to work. We write regular posts here and send out monthly newsletters with productivity tips, life hacks, and recommendations. Sign up for the mailing list here.

Jake Kahana is a cofounder of Caveday. Sign up for his personal emails, called “The Email Refrigerator” here.