These days, most of us are in an intense but implicit competition.

The winner doesn’t get a trophy or plaque or even an award.

We play this game– the busy competition– so much so, that it’s not even conscious.
Online, we subtly brag about all the things we’re doing.
In small talk we ask how things are going only to answer with “busy” or “crazy” or something similar.
With new friends, we’re humble bragging while self deprecating about how we got a Peloton but barely have time to even ride it.

And we do it when no one’s around– when a TV show suddenly gets emotionally heavy, or when we pull up to a stop light… we reach for our phone.

We have a need to be busy.
We play this game to get the recognition for being the busiest person.

“I am busier than you, so therefore I win.”

Part of the reason we do this is because busy has come to mean important. If I’m busier than you that means I’m working “harder” which means I have more work which means I make more money than you. And money is a big indicator our worth.
…Or at least how we can judge each other.

Being busy also allows us to avoid difficult realities.
I don’t have to think about what I really want in my career if I just go to work every day and overwhelm myself with my tasks. Or think deeply about climate change. Or politics. Or race. Or women’s rights. Or why I’m still single. Or if I’m actually happy in my life and what it would take to get there. So many things.

When we are busy, we avoid reality.
And I believe that that is ultimately the reason why we keep busy.

Always having something to do and somewhere to be and content to watch and images to scroll, means that I don’t have to pay attention to getting older or injustice or any sort of complex emotions that will inevitably come up in our complex world.

Ok, there’s a lot to unpack here but I gotta get back to work.
Maybe you should too, huh?

Caveday is a company aimed at improving your relationship to work. We write regular posts here and send out monthly newsletters with productivity tips, life hacks, and recommendations. Sign up for the mailing list here.

Jake Kahana is a cofounder of Caveday. Sign up for his personal emails, called “The Email Refrigerator” here.