I dropped my daughter off at school yesterday and on the walk back home, popped in my headphones to listen to an audiobook. Some non-fiction business book that should’ve been an article about productivity and using time better.

On the walk, I saw a perfect autumn tree– the perfect blend of red and yellow and snapped a quick picture to appreciate later. I came home and did part of my annual review process to better plan the upcoming year.

And I don’t think I’m alone in this.
We are all guilty of constantly preparing for a future that never arrives.

We go to kindergarten to prepare for middle school which prepares us for high school which gets us ready for college which supposedly sets us up to go out into the real world. Every book we choose feels like it needs to teach us some valuable lesson to be a better person.

This constant obsession with self-improvement is exhausting.

Everything we do, in our free time, taking breaks, taking vacation is in service of improving our selves at work. What would happen if you read a novel for fun? Or took a day off to just lie in bed and watch reality tv? Or did an art project that no one would ever see or hear about? It feels uncomfortable because we’re taught that we should be constantly working towards a better future version of ourselves.

Instead of feeling like we need to forever built better habits and emulate what all successful people do before 7am, here’s a different approach.

Instead of learning new habits and skills all the time, learn to work with who you are.

Learn yourself.

Introspect on the ways in which you come alive, find flow, get distracted, and feel triggered. What are your values, what are boundaries that you have set and where have they been crossed?

The more we can learn ourselves the more we can accept our own limitations and embrace our full selves. We don’t need to forever be learning to work smarter or work harder. We need to learn to work with who we are.

It’s cliched advice to just be yourself. It’s much harder than it sounds.

But that’s who your boss hired.
So learn to be more yourself.

Caveday is a company aimed at improving your relationship to work. We write regular posts here and send out monthly newsletters with productivity tips, life hacks, and recommendations. Sign up for the mailing list here.

Jake Kahana is a cofounder of Caveday. Sign up for his personal emails, called “The Email Refrigerator” here.